30 DAYS TO TAMING YOUR TONGUE DAY 6

DAY 6       THE ARGUMENTATIVE TONGUE

One quarrelsome person can impact the peace and effectiveness of an entire group. Their contentiousness arises from a selfish, unchecked ego that fails to respect the opinions of others and that thrives on displaying intellectual superiority.

Unlike divisive people, whose actions destroy unity between parties, argumentative people enjoy directly resisting anyone whose viewpoints is different from theirs.. In fact, they seem to stay on high alerts for anything they can discuss that will get someone else on the defensive.

Being argumentative is a futile use fo the tongue and certainly not the way to win friends or influence people. So why do people become quarrelers?

Many quarrelers grew up in homes where arguing was as much a pattern as eating, thus they think it is normal to contend. But it is an ineffective form of communication. This includes personal attacks on character and name calling.

Another reason some people resort to quarreling is to bolster their own self-word. They can only feel good about themselves by attacking the validity of other people’s opinions, philosophies or beliefs and then maneuvering them into defending their position. The quarreler’s goal is not to add value to someone’s life by showing him the error of his ways.

King Solomon said “Beginning a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out” Provers 17:14. Even Jesus said to “agree with your adversary quickly”

Most people, except fellow quarrelers, will minimize or avoid discussion with a person who is argumentative.

One of the Challenges for God’s children’s is to learn to disagree without being disagreeable. We glorify God when we remain loving even when we disagree with the views and values of unbelievers. We must be careful how we disagree lest we compromise our testimony. Don’t be mean spirited, but we can show grace with our protest.

Benjamin Franklin was known to remark diplomatically “ On this point, I agree. But one the other, if you don’t mind, may I take exception”

If you have a tendency to be contentious or argumentative, remember that it cost you absolutely nothing to respect someone’s opinion-especially on matters that have no eternal consequences.

READINGS AND REFLECTIONS

PROVERBS 20:3    PROVERBS 17:19   PROVERBS 18:6

PROVERBS 18:19   PROVERBS 17:14   

1)               If you tend to be quarrelsome, what do you think is your root cause?

2)              What subject matter do you find yourself arguing about the most frequently? Does your stance on this matter have a clear biblical basis, or could it be a matter of your personal interpretations?

3)              Using Proverbs 20:3 and 17:9, as your foundation, write a short prayer asking God to give you the wisdom to know when and how to put forth your convictions without being quarrelsome.