30 DAYS TO TAMING YOUR TONGUE DAY 18

DAY 18 THE INTIMIDATING TONGUE

Intimidators are bullies. They major in making others feel inadequate, unworthy, ashamed, fearful- any emotion that will allow them to maintain their position of dominance.

While intimidators often get their way, they are not the towers of strength they pretend to be.

Goliath though killing David was going to be a piece of cake since David was such an unexperienced warrior. Goliath decided to employ a little verbal intimidation. He engaged in name-calling, used threatening language and tried to minimize David’s potential. ALL standard tactics for the effective intimidator. David’s response was not al all what Goliath expected. He assertively declared his faith in his God. (1 Sam. 17:45-46)

The intimidator counts on his victim to wilt in the face of a verbal attack. That’s why sometimes you have to let an intimidator know you refuse to be oppressed by him and that you do indeed have the God-given strength to resist his tactics. While it may be scary to confront intimidating bullies, they will often quickly back down when someone stands up to them. God has NEVER meant for anyone to oppress or dominate another person.

Verbal intimidation can have a severe physical and emotional impact on its target. Many victims suffer headaches, anxiety, nervousness, insomnia, fatigue, low self-esteem, and depression. This is not how God intended His children to affect each other’s lives.

Intimidators’ behavior only results in resentment and subtle rebellion. They must learn that people are more inspired to connect with someone who will SUPPORT them in their weakness.

If you are an intimidator, it is time to get in touch with why you feel you need to gain power or control over others. Many intimidators grew up in chaotic or otherwise negative environment in which they felt powerless to change their circumstances. They vowed they would never allow their lives to be so out of control again, so they seek control. Others are simply a bundle of insecurities and use intimidation as a façade to mask their fears

Intimidation runs rampant in many marriages. Here are a list of behaviors below:

a.   Making demeaning remarks

b.   Threatening (divorces, suicide, murder taking the kids, and so on)

c.    Having a demanding attitude (no appreciation or common courtesies)

d.   Running guilt trips

e.   Invalidating the feelings, opinions and thoughts of the spouse.

Whatever the cause, intimidators can never hope to have a meaningful relationship with anyone who is forced to submission.

READINGS AND REFLECTIONS

PHILIPPIANS 1:28  PSALM 38:12-15    ACTS 4:29

1)               Have you ever tried to control someone’s behavior by making a subtle threat? What were the results? What did you think the outcome would have been if you had not introduced the element of fear? Why did you think your threat was more powerful than prayer?

2)              Have you observed that most intimidators do not have close relationship with others? They seem to be totally oblivious to the fact that the average person has no desire to be disrespected, disparaged, or disregarded.

3)              If you are the victim of an intimidator ( at home, work or church) write out the impact their behavior has had upon you physically and emotionally. How long do you plan to tolerate this situation? Whom have you solicited for needed emotional support?