30 DAYS TO TAMING YOUR TONGUE DAY 21

DAY 21 THE SELF-ABSORBED TONGUE

Everyone needs to know they matter to somebody. Everybody also needs an opportunity to express their concerns, challenges, desires and hopes with a caring listeners. The problem arises when one person esteems his assures about those of all others.

Are most of your conversations with others centered on you and your issues? A self-absorbed tongue will surely alienate others as almost everyone desires to be the focus of attention occasionally.

Become aware of this character flaw in you communication. Ask God to make you genuinely interested in others. If you find yourself involved with a self-absorbed person, try asking them to give you some advice or input about an issue that does not involved them. If they attempt to direct the conversation to themselves, quickly acknowledge their concern about the matter but change the subject to something that is not about them.

If you admit to being self-absorbed type, turn you desires for attention ego boosting, and other selfish needs over to the Heaven Father, who supplies all you needs. Make a conscientious effect to become “Other-absorbed”. Challenge yourself to go a whole day or more without making your issues the focus of your communication. Given everyone you converse with your full attention and watch your relationship deepen.

READINGS AND REFLECTIONS

PHILIPPIANS 2:4 2 TIMOTHY 3:1,5 GALATIANS 6:2

PROVERBS 18:1

1)              If you are self-absorbed, know that it is a learned behavior. Somebody allowed you to become the center of attention. Perhaps you were the only child, the youngest or the most frail, or have some other distinction that caused you to receive most of the focus in your environment as a child. Also know that in any relationships, there has to be mutual sharing and caring for it to work God’s way. Observe you conversations today and notice whether you subtly (or deliberately) manipulate the discussion to focus on your issues. Not how often you say “I”.

2)             Read Esther 5:1-12. Name five things that Haman boasted about to his family and friends.

3)             Narcissus was a character in Greek mythology who was always looking at his own reflection. He was the most important thing in his world. Narcissistic, self-absorbed people think they world exists to serve them. When people cater to them, it only reinforces their mind-set. If there is a self-absorbed person in your life whom you care about and wish to help, then you must accept the challenge of getting them to embrace a new paradigm-acknowledging there are other people on planet earth with a life to share. Try these strategies for starters;

A)            Have them agree to let you help them with this problem

B)            Do not indulge their selfishness; do not let them “hog” the conversations.

C)            Insist that they listen and give you feedback on other topics of interest

D)           Whenever she tries to refocus the discussion on herself, just get quiet and do not respond.

E)           Don’t give up; you’re preparing them for godly relationships