30 DAYS TO TAMING YOUR TONGUE DAY 13

DAY 13 THE BELITTLING TONGUE

Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? Or are your expectations so high that you focus on their shortcomings rather than their assets? If someone speaks well of a person you envy, do you follow up with a disparaging remark? Are you so insecure that you can only feel good about yourself by denigrating others? “Therefore encourage one another and build up on another, just as you also doing” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

People often belittle others to make themselves feel good or important, or to mask their inadequacies. Denigrating another in order to enhance one’ own image is a sure sign of insecurity. Such behavior runs afoul of Pauls’ admonitions in Ephesians 4:29 that we are to build each other up.

We can conquer belittling by acting as if we are a cheer leader or coach to your family, employees, coworker and other in our sphere of interaction. Cheerleaders tell you that “you can do it”. Coaches tell you how to reach the goal. They all have the same goals: They want you to win.

If you want to maximize productivity then learn how to build up your employees. You need to give them positive affirmations, some hand-holding and lots of communication will often yields the productivity and the loyalty that may not accompany a “cocky superstar”

Make it a habit to affirm your family members and friends. Tell your spouse that they are they only one for you, express your appreciated to them for their sense of responsibility, applaud your children for avoiding drugs and alcohol, thank a friend for keeping your secrets! Resist the temptation to constantly “fix” something about them. Accept them as they are and remember that you only have them for a season.

READINGS AND REFLECTIONS

1 THESSALONIANS 5:11        EPHESIANS 4:29   PROVERBS 14:1

1)               Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” Proverbs 18:21. List phrases that bring life to a person (build up) and phrases that speaks death (tear down).

2)              When you ridicule others you hurt yourself; when you build up others, you become a people magnet and a great witness for our Lord. Try these Strategies for elimination your put-down tendencies:

a.   If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all

b.   Don’t define a person by his shortcomings; everybody has some assets. Why, even a broken clock is correct two times a day.

c.    Notice things that people do right. Praise them for it.

d.   Ask for godly wisdom in giving constructive feedback, leave the person with hope.

e.   Don’t make negative remarks about someone in the presences of others

f.      Don’t minimize anyone’s pain, fears or experiences; it’s their reality.

3)              Set a goal today of building up everyone with whom you interact. Try giving a sincere compliment, acknowledging an accomplishment, or expressing your faith in someone’s ability to succeed. Make a note of at least two people you encounter and the impact your encouraging words appeared to have on each one.