30 DAYS OF TAMING YOUR TONGUE DAY 11

DAY 11 THE MEDDLING TONGUE

Most people are tempted at some point to interfere in the lives of others-especially when they feel they know what is best.  This behavior is offensive to most other people and may cause someone to make a wrong decision simply to rebel against the unsolicited input, not to mention may result in the loss of a relationship, too.

“NOSEY” is the label that we give people who are always prying into or meddling in the affairs of others.  Mother-in-laws have the reputation for being meddlers, but they are not the only one. Anyone can be a meddler: men, relatives, coworkers, and well-meaning friends.

Unlike gossips, meddlers usually seek personal information directly from their subjects. “How can you afford such an expensive item?” “What size is the dress you’re wearing?” How much did you pay for that?” Seem like harmless questions, right? These are the types of questions that serve no other purpose than to satisfy an inquiring mind.

When you are genuinely concerned or just plain curious, be especially careful to avoid probing questions when conversing with hose who are ill. “What did the doctor say about your condition?” Bad question. It is best to wait for someone to volunteer detailed information about their personal health. I have a hard time with this when it comes with family and friends. Being a nurse they come to me for medical advice so of course I would want to know the outcome.

If you are prone to natural curiosity, you must make a special effort to keep your inquisitiveness within the bounds of what is socially and spiritually appropriate. In some situations you may have no intentions of prying; however you may still run the risk of your inquisitiveness offending others.

Before “sticking your nose” into a situation, you might want to pray about it first and leave the matter to God. He is always better at influencing circumstances than we are.

If you are a parent, some meddling is certainly in order to keep your inexperienced, live-at-home children from going down the wrong path. Don’t be afraid of their negative attitudes or their rejection.

If your children have reached adulthood, try to accept the fact that grown-up do not need parenting The law of sowing and reaping the consequences of bad decisions is still one of the most effective teachers of life’s lessons.

If you are indeed a genuine meddler, know that God does not consider your nose-poking a small matter. He classifies this sin. YEP! Sin.

When tempted to meddle, why not engage in a little self-interrogations? Ask yourself “Do I have a sincere, unselfish motive from prying into this matter, or am I attempting to control things for my desired objectives?” Someone once said that one reason why people who mind their own business are successful is that they have so little competition. THINK ABOUT THAT!!

READINGS AND REFLECTIONS

1 PETER 4:15 PROVERBS 11:13   JAMES 4:12

1)               Describe a situation in which you stuck your nose into someone’s business, only to experience a negative reaction.

2)              In 1 Peter 4:15, prying into other people’s affairs is given equal weight with three other sins. List them.

3)              If you’ve decided you must intervene in the affairs of another, try these tips.

a.   Be honest as to why you want to interfere

b.   Consider the history of your relationship with this person.

c.    Remember that your goal is to be helpful. Refrain from using words that are judgmental, hurtful or uncaring.

d.   Don’t lecture or nag. Simply state the emotional, physical, financial, relational or spiritual impact the person’s actions are having on you, others or himself.

e.   Don’t expect the person to agree with you right away or to quickly embrace and implement all you suggest. Give them time.

f.      Pledge your support to seeing the person through to the needed change.