UNGLUED CHAPTER 4

EXPLODER VS STUFFER

Hi, my name is Lisa and I am a STUFFER.

Oh my. I didn’t realize that was part of being unglued. So what are you? Exploder or Stuffer?  If you are an Exploder, are you one who “shames herself” or one who “blames others”? If you are a Stuffer, are you one who “builds barriers” (raising my hand) or one who “collects retaliation rocks”?

Maybe you are like our writer and a combination of them all!

Remember we are not supposed to label ourselves, instead we are to identify ourselves. I like the definition Lysa used.

          “Labeling says , ‘I am a sum total of my difficult issues.’ While “Identifying says ‘My issues are part of the equations but not the sum total.’ When we identify issues with OURSELVES it should be healthy and productive. The issues that causes us stress, hurt feelings, irritation, bitterness.. ya da da di da.

When things explode, whatever is on the inside, erupts like a volcano eruption.  Stuffing is like when you are packing stuff in a trash bag. Just keep forcing more “trash” in, over and over. Eventually that bag will “explode” as well.

You can explode in a loud voice or even in a more quite manner. Yelling and screaming is what we think of when we think of emotional “exploder” but you don’t have to raise your voice to be an exploder.

Have you said or been told “Don’t take that tone with me!” The tone, sternness, slow diction and evening speaking through closed teeth, (as then dentist say “bite together”) is a form of exploding. Hmmmm, I have done this to some friends, especially when they don’t listen or take this seriously.

I guess I could me like Lysa too and be a combination of them all. It depends on the circumstance and on the people involved. Think of a time when you were an example of each one.

UNGLUED CHAPTER 3

PRISONER

After reading Chapter 3, I was thinking this is about me! WeLL except the story about the woman going to prison. But the part about the writer’s closet was a mess. THAT IS ME….and my bedroom, and by bathrooms, and my laundry room and my kitchen… Well you get the picture. Echoes in my mind of my mother telling me as a child, “You are messy, Just look at your room”. Then as I got older when we would come over to my house it would 95% of the time be “untidy”. “Lisa, how can you make such a mess when it is only you. I didn’t raise you like this”. But then she would say “When you do straighten up, you do a great job”. She always joyed my decorating idea I would do.  Even now, going to my old home, looks like, as my mother would say “ a tornado went through it”. I would ask myself, “did you leave this house like this”? I have labeled myself as a messy housekeeper and even a hoarder!!! I know I am NOT THAT bad but that kind of thinking is in my head.

We can become a prisoner to the labels we give ourselves. Think of the labels you have given yourself. Are these labels keeping you from proving it to be wrong?  Sisters, we need to tear that “label off” right now.

Yes it may hurt some, just like tape on our skin. Be need to look beyond those label we give ourselves, or even others may give us. I have been on the receiving end of being labeled by others. Although some I knew were untrue, some I would have to look deep inside to see if there was a hint of truth. After a while, I would move on, take those baby step forward of that imperfect progress to get beyond of those feelings of hurt. Sometimes those baby steps were easy while others were/are difficult.

I reflect on them now and considering that God was working on me, chisling me. If we keep wearing those labels, we can’t move on and do what God has in stored for each one of us. Like the story Lysa was talking about the famous statue “David”.  How many people worked on that statue before it became the finished process? People stopped. It was unfinished for years. Before Michelangelo, those people just “gave up” on finishing. Maybe they labeled themselves saying “I can’t finish this”. It took a young man in his twenties with energy and vison to finish this masterpiece. (not to say us middle-aged women don’t have energy and vision). He didn’t give up. He keeping going forward, step by step, until it was done.

We can do the same thing. Don’t let labels hold us back. Don’t let labels make us give up thinking it can’t be done.  We are God’s workmanship. Chose to view the circumstances of your labels as a CALL TO ACTION, NOT a call to beat yourself up.

REMEMBER

“ Just because you closet is a mess, doesn’t make you a messy person. YOU are a child of God with a messy closet”

UNGLUED CHAPTER 1

How often do you made decision based on your emotions?  When you feel pressured by the world and the anxiety builds up, or the deadline is approaching, or in the heat of anger, passion or hurt, you say or do something that you regret?

We all do and more often than we want to admit. Afterwards we feel “crappy”. And being a Christian we may become weighed down with feelings of guilt. We feel bad because we didn’t act like a Christian should act. But a Christian is not perfect. NO ONE IS PERFECT! NO ONE.

We need to remember that we are and will always be IMPERFECT Christians until God calls us home. We need to accept it, but still strive to do better. That is what our study is about. It will NOT make us perfect, but we will make imperfect changes. “Imperfect changes are SLOW STEPS of PROGRESS wrapped in GRACE”.  Imperfect Progress.

Our assignment this week is to read Chapters 1 & 2 and complete session 1 in the participant’s guide.

If you only got the participant guide, don’t fret, I will highlight the areas from the readings for you (they are also in the participant guide as well. I will be posting twice each week the highlights of the reading chapters, just in case someone didn’t get the book.  They will be on Wednesday and Saturday.

Remember to Pray for the study each Wednesday. Pray for yourself, that God would speak to you personally and more Important that you will listen and be open to His will in your life. Also pray that you will stay committed throughout the study with readings and assignment so that you can get the most out of this time as possible. Pray for other participants in the study, that each of them would gain more hope and draw closer to God through the study. Pray for each other’s homes, jobs, and families.

So let’s get started….Chapter 1

AN INVITATION TO IMPERFECT PROGRESS-Chapter 1

Sometime are emotions takeover is situations. And sometimes when that happens, we tend to mentally “beat ourselves up”. I have a tendency to do this on a regular basis, however, it usually it not witnessed by anyone other than me and the Lord. But the other week “IT” happened at work.  I had no excuse, but I am going to give you some any way. It had been a hard week for me. Tried to do things at Mother’s house, cleaning, packing up stuff to give away, stuff to save for my step-brother that was his dad’s. It seemed like an impossible week. I could FOCUS. I joked with some close friends and told them I felt like I had ADD, or ADHA or some other “attention deficit” abbreviations. I could stick with one task for 15 minutes before I thought of something else, I needed to do and I went to do that, thus the cycle began. By Friday when I went to work, I felt Like I had been on a stationary bicycle for days and had had not gotten anywhere.  I had already mental stated to beat myself up about it, then all those other feelings of loneliness, grief and sorrow poured over me like a damn had busted.

Any way, it really was a big thing that sent me over the edge that morning. It was just a simple statement and I blew it way out of proportion.. You have heard the saying “making a mountain out of a mole hill” well it was more like a “mountain out of a pimple”. If it happened at a different time, my emotions, negative emotions at that. Would not even had stirred.

I usually internalize my emotions, but they were leaking out. A little “squirt” here with a snide comment, a little “squirt” there with another. But I was trying my best not “explode into tears”. But the more I held it in, the more the pressure build and I did what many people do, I took it to social media!!! URGH…

Well I felt better once I posted it. I should have known it would, ‘cause in the past, I would WRITE all that stuff down on paper. Just let it out!! Then tear up the paper and threw it away. I was over it after I posted it.  Until one of my co-workers asked me about the post.

That night, I was “convicted” for my behavior. In fact, I was disappointed in myself for my actions and reaction. I had a long talk with the Lord that evening. For about a week or so, the relationship between me and this person, felt “strange”. To me it seemed like that were keeping their distance, even when we had to work or be at the same activity together.

Emotions that are not controlled, CAN hurt and even destroy relationships. And it always seems to happen with the people we care about the most.

When we do this, for no cause, we blame it on various things; hormones aka “that time of the month”, feeling tired, didn’t get any sleep, stressed out about another situation, just had an agreement with someone else, feeling of insecurity and unappreciated.  But these are just excuses and not the source of the problem.

I liked Lysa’s thought of Imperfect Progress.  She talks about “feeling unglued” is all she had ever known.  Are you like Lysa? Do you know anyone like her?  It doesn’t even have to be emotions that you are trying to overcome, whatever it is, we need to remember it is not a instant progress. What it is, is IMPERFECT PROGRESS.

Imperfect progress is imperfect changes of slow steps toward our goal. The best part is that it is wrapped in GRACE.  We just need to make progress. It’s ok to have “setbacks” and the need for do-overs. In fact for me, that is a guarantee in whatever I am trying to overcome. The thing is make sure you are moving FORWARD, even if they are baby steps. Baby steps keep you from getting stuck or idle. The change WILL COME if we remember and keep going forward.

UNGLUED CHAPTER 2

   I'M NOT A FREAKED-OUT WOMAN

Are you a women that freaks-out when things go wrong? Even the simple non-essential stuff that gets in our way? Slow traffic, someone pulling out in front of us, the cable/satellite goes out, the phone not working? Have you ever tried to fix something only to make it worse? Do you hit on an appliance or equipment when it doesn’t work the way you want to?

This reminds me of a co-worker hitting on a medication bin in our Pyxis when it didn’t open like it was supposed to do. I can remember when I was still at my house about twice a year the trash truck would knock down my telephone line.  It would take about 5 days or more before they would come and fix it. I didn’t care cause I has my cell phone but it would get bother my mother (even though she called me on my cell). She would even tell me to tell them that I was on emergency call at the hospital and needed that phone. I did that once, but it didn’t work.

Sometime we get so wrapped up in the emotions of the situations, that we do or say unwisely things. We think that there is no good could come out of a bad situations, especially if it happens to us personally, but I can. For example, the author talks about her computer got a virus and she couldn’t even get to her files. She had to get another new computer (ugh). Then after a month that computer and gotten stolen, but if it wasn’t for the first one getting the virus, she would not have made backups of her files. She realized that the virus on her first one was a blessing. What “once seemed like a curse became a precious gift”.

We need to change our thought patterns sometimes. Sometime unfortunately thoughts associated with emotions are easy to remember. To develop new response we need to develop new thoughts. This is crucial if we don’t want to become “unglued”. The Bible encourages us to renew our minds. Romans 12:2

The Scriptures also teaches us that we can accept or refuse thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5

We need to remind ourselves that we have a choice. We can chose to have destructive thoughts or constructive thoughts. We can wallow in what is going on that is wrong  and make things worse or we can ask God for His perspective to help us see good even when we can’t see or feel it.

I just watched this video on Jerry Clower. Some of you may know him. But he talked about the time when he got a call about his son being in a wreck and "he wouldn't wake up". He talked about how Christians are supposed to give praise to EVERYTHING. The good and the bad. And he was going to do just that. And to make a long story short, he did just that.

When things get out of control we don’t need to do the same thing. It only makes matter worse. More stress and anxiety to the situation.

Do you trust God? Do you believe He is working out everything for your good, even when you can’t see the good? If so, you need to stop “freaking out” trying to fix everything on your own. God is the one who is in control, therefore you can face things that are out of control without you being out of control yourself.

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY ADVENT WEEK #4

THE SHEPHERDS

SCRIPTURES LUKE 2:8-20

Abraham was a shepherd, often moving about to find pasture and water and to avoid hostile tribesmen. Jacob slipped away in the night to a shepherd kinsmen after cheating his brother Esau. Jacob shepherd sheep for 14 years. The prophet Amos, humbly claimed that he was just a poor uneducated shepherd. King David, the most famous shepherd of all, worked as a boy with fathers flock. 

Ancient Israel was not a land of cattle ranches or pig farms. For pork was forbidden. Yes that would include Bacon. Jewish Law.

The practice of agriculture was scattered- some grain was grown in Galilee, along with some vineyards and fruit trees. But especially in the southern region of Judah, sheep and goats dotted the landscape. 

The rocky hills from Jerusalem to Hebron and Bethlehem housed constantly migrating sheep and goat. The soil was so shallow, the rocky hills abundant, the rain so occasional, the grass was so sparse, and that the sheep and the goats moved continually.

So in ancient Palestine, shepherding was prominent essential. Sheep were the mainstay of the inhabitants livelihood. Sheep provided wool, meat, clothing and material for tents.  Lambs were regularly laid on the altar in Jerusalem’s Temple as a sacrifice.

In springtime, during the day, shepherd and families who owned the sheep had much to do. They worked hard, assisting in the birthing of new lambs, caring for those little ones. Amid strong winds and spring rains, they sheared the sheep, harvested the winter wool and readied the ewes and bucks for simmer weather.  The butchered young males and castrated other for later meat supply.

The firstborn lamb was taken to the Temple as a sacrificial thank offering. As David, these shepherds had to be alert for wild animals, foxes, beats and even lions.

Summertime it was more laid back. However wintertime is different. The sheep would be fed little hay..maybe some grain. They move the about . At night the pastures were cold. There was little to do. Build a fire, sing to help quiet the sheep and keep animals away. The hired hands were called shepherd, their main jobs was to bed down the sheep. Sometimes in a cave, often around a fire, then go to sleep leaving one fellow to stay awake and watch. The owners were in their homes.

So these nighttime winter shepherd were the poorest of the poor. They owned nothing, couldn’t get a decent-paying daytime job and often had neither home nor family. In this day and time, these shepherds were considered the bottom of the social ladder.

Sometimes, these people could have very well had a bad reputation. The shepherd were not allowed to given testimony in the courts in those days; they were usually considered unreliable…So why would an angel come first to the shepherds.

These humble night workers got to baby Jesus before the Wiseman did. It has been said that uneducated, simple people come more easily to faith than wise people and scholars who have to work through a lot of thought problems before they come to the Lord. Do you think that is true?

God chose to have the angels sing to these humble folks, these shepherds, the weakest of the weak, the loneliest of the lonely, the poorest of the poor.,

The angel first words was “Do NOT BE AFAIRD: because they were terrified. IT wasn’t a lion or bear but host of angels singing.

Martin Luther said the greatest miracle of Christmas was that when the angel told Mary she was to bear a child, the Savior “MARY BELIEVED”. The shepherds believed They said, lets go NOW to Bethlehem and see this thing…and they went in haste. 

While some people hear an angel speaking and keep on tending the sheep. Some of us hear heaven singing and we throw another stick on the fire.

READ LUKE 2:20. No verse in Scripture is more exciting, more fulfilling that “The shepherds returned glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen.

Our God has a special heart for the humble. Those who are poor are not blocked by prestige or wealth but are often open to the eternal. Stripped of everything earthly.

Historically great Christians revivals movements have started amount the poor; Saint Francis going to Italy, John Wesley’s preaching to the peasants and prisoners in England; William Booth’s offering to Christ and started the Salvation Army.

A miracle of Christmas is that the angels sand first to the shepherd. That they hurried to the manger, and that they believed and returned to the fields glorifying God.

Even in today’s society, the poor is separated. All societies. Upper class, Middle class, the poor and indigent. I could be a migrant worker at a chicken plant, a young person at fast food restaurant behind the counter, the person that sleeps under the bridge, these are hard for US to reach for Jesus. We are often aloof and distant with them, they are sometimes suspicious and defensive. But JESUS went to the poor and the outcast.

READ Luke 14:13-14 When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrections of the righteous.

So let’s remember the shepherds at Christmas. They represent the poor, the lonely and the outcast. The angels came to them first. The poorest of the poor. Maybe never forget the poor, in our town or country or the world.

THE GOOD, BAD, AND THE UGLY ADVENT WEEK #3

JOSEPH

SCRIPTURE MATTHEW 1:18-25, 2:13-15, 19-23

What do we know about Joseph? Other than being Mary’s husband and the earthly father of Jesus? Other than being a carpenter? Let’s see what we can learn.

I all of Scripture not a single word was recorded from Joseph’s mouth. He was a quiet man. You might say he was the strong and silent type. Generally those men that work hard, say very little. My dad was one of those men.

These type of men are seldom, head of committees, but they serve faithfully. People respect them and their judgement, even if it only as smile or a nod of the head. They are men of integrity. Their word is their bond. A handshake is better than a signed contract.

Just because Joseph words were never recorded in the Bible doesn’t make him less important in the Christmas story. His role in the birth and upbringing of Jesus was indispensable.

We know that Joseph obedient to the Lord. He listens the he acts. God speaks to him in dreams and he responds. When he planned to not go with the marriage of Mary because she was pregnant, an angel came in a dream and told him to take Mary as his wife, and he did.

Just as he did after Jesus was born. An angel came to him in a dream and told Joseph to get up and leave with Mary and the child. This was when Herod was planning to killed the male children.  After Herod died, an angel came again in his dreams and told him to take his family to Israel. And he did.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all could be as obedient and quick about it?

Mary and Joseph both were obedient to God. The observed the Mosaic rituals and civil laws. The journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem was about a 90 mile journey.  It would take 8-10 days. They circumcised Jesus on the eight day as part of the law of Moses. (Leviticus 12:3)

Then Joseph took Jesus and Mary to Jerusalem for “purification” after waiting thirty-three days for Mary to finish bleeding (Leviticus 12:1-8) Luke 2:21-24. Joseph dedicated two turtledoves (does that sound familiar) because he was poor. The upper and middle class were required to dedicate a lamb while the poor were required to dedicate two turtledoves.

Then Joseph, with Mary, parented Jesus so that he grew and became strong, filled with wisdom. Every year they would take Jesus back to Jerusalem as required for the Passover. When Jesus was twelve, he held the rabbis and priest captive with His understanding and His answers. (Luke 2:46-47)  

After this we never hear of Joseph again in the Scriptures. There was no mention of him at the wedding feast in Cana.  He was not there with Mary and the other children when they begged Jesus to avoid controversy in his ministry and to come home.

We have always heard and think of Joseph as a carpenter. Interesting that the Greek word the Bible uses is ‘tekton” which means “artisan” or “builder” or “stone mason” . The King James Translation in 1611 used the word carpenter to describe Joseph and so it has been ever since.  Trees in Israel are of short supply. When Solomon imported the “cedars of Lebanon” to build the Temple in Jerusalem.  The Houses in Galilee were built of limestone.  But furniture, and yokes for oxen had to be built somehow.

Carpenter knew how to use a hammer, chisel and a plumb line and a level. Everything has to be straight. Close your eyes and picture Jesus working side by side with Joseph.  Listen to what Joseph is saying “ Son, it has to be perfectly straight and that’s the way God wants us to be with one another” or talking about how someone who is building their house on sand saying “ when the storms come, that house is going to fall. It needs to be level and build on a solid foundation, just like the way our lives should be built on God” Jesus even taught that in Luke 6:46-49

We don’t know how long Joseph lived but you have to wonder what role he played in helping Jesus understand God as God of all humanity. Jesus must have learned much from his strong, quiet hardworking father. At time we see when Jesus shows this quietness Himself.

REFLECTION

Think of what kind of man you think Joseph was? What traits do you see? Imagine a scene between him and Jesus and Joseph explaining the things of life to him.  Plan to share for discussion next week.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. ADVENT WEEK 2

THE WISEMEN

SCRIPTURE READING MATTHEW 2:1-12

In the Bible there are three books that are referred to as “wisdom literature”; Proverbs, Job and Ecclesiastes.

So who were these wise men? Where did they come from? In ancient times, the areas around the Mediterranean were circle of secular wisdom. In Egypt, look at the pyramids. It took some brilliant engineers to design and accomplish building those.  There were great philosophers in Greece; Plato, Aristotle and Socrates. Then there was the study of the movement of planets and starts that originated in Mesopotamia, Babylon and Persia.

As people traveled they would read each other’s scrolls.  And thus a new religious philosophy formed in Greece and Persia called Gnosticism. Instead of worshiping many gods, these spiritual intellects believed in just two; the god of spiritual matters and the god of physical matters. The Wiseman in the Christmas story could have very well been Gnostics, (until they witnessed the birth of the Messiah)

All we know from the Bible is that these wise men were NOT Jews. They were foreigners. Perhaps from Persians. Some scholars think they may have been from India, where they studied stars.  Wherever they came from, they paid special attention to the movement of stars.

THE GIFTS

So how many wise men were there?  We really don’t know, but because of the three specific gifts, people assume it was just three. By the fourth centry they were given names. Gaspar who was said to have brought the gold, Balthazar gave the frankincense and Melchior the myrrh.

The gift symbolism is powerful even overwhelming. Gold for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Frankincense is use for prayer in the temple. Jesus prayed all night in the garden and taught us to pray “ Our Father who are in heaven…”  No Myrrh, was an embalming spice, to suggest Jesus’ death on the cross. Remember on Easter morning, Mary Magdalene hurried to the tomb with spices to anoint Jesus’ body.

These gifts were no ordinary gifts. In biblical times, frankincense came from the sap of the Boswellia sacra tree grown in southern Arabia. These precious aromatics were brought to the seaport at Gaza and shipped to Europe and Egypt. Frankincense was used everywhere in worshiping of different religions. Arabia produced the finest quality of frankincense and myrrh in the known world.

What about the gold? Joseph was a carpenter and they traveled a lot those early years. They needed some monies of sorts to support them during this time. Maybe this gold was what they used. What else could it had been for? Something to ponder.

Over the centuries the images of “The Magi” changed. Painting had them representing the Gentile world. They had Gaspar being an old man, Balthazar a middle aged man and Melchoir as a younger man. Then they had their images change to represent the continents of Europe, Asia and Africa (Portraying Balthazar as having dark skin).

The spiritual symbolism was that these wise men represented the non-Jews. Supposedly their remains are in a golden shrine in the Cologne Cathedral in Germany.

You all  know the Twelve Days of Christmas song. Do you know how it came about? Many Christian churches celebrate Epiphany or Feast of Epiphany, which occurs twelve days after Christmas. Epiphany literally means “showing forth” and it signifies that Light has come into the world.  Those that visited Jesus after his birth, more than likely occurred during this time.

We shouldn’t underestimate the Gentile symbolism. Jesus in his ministry reached out to Gentiles. There are several small stories where Jesus interacted with Gentiles. The demon-possessed in Luke 8:26-33, the poor widow in Luke 7:11-17, even the Roman soldier at the foot of the cross Matthew 27:54. And the most familiar parable of the good Samaritan Luke 10:29-37, honors a man whose people were viewed as being Gentile and despised.

The Wisemen have being men of wealth and prominence and came from afar, where more than likely had a herd of servants and animals with them.  As powerful intelligent scholar-kings, they were humble. Humbly they followed the star, found their way to the Christ Child; humbly they knelt before the child with a young peasant mother and a carpenter father. Humbly and prayerfully they gave the precious gifts they had carried for hundreds of miles.

We need to keep the Wisemen in Christmas because they represent the people of the entire world. Red, yellow, black and white like the song goes. They teach us that NO ONE is too far away that they cannot “travel to Bethlehem”. No matter how poor or how rich, we all need a Savior.