UNGLUED CHAPTER 6

WEEK 3 PART 2 CHAPTER 6

STUFFER

How do you respond to constructive criticism? Probable depends on how it is given to you and by whom, right? Sometime it is not given in a spirit of love, with encouraging words.  And most of the time is it not so constructive. It can be destructive.

I don’t like turmoil among the people I have in my life, whether it’s my family, my friends, work or even church. It makes me “shut down”, especially if I am personally involved.  I get all these different emotions flying around it my head and I mentally suppress them. I don’t want to deal with it I just want it to go away!!! But it usually don’t happen that way. Most of the time, these feelings need to be addressed.

So what keeps me from doing this?. Fear I guess. I am an emotional person (aka cry baby). If I raise my voice at someone (which is VERY rare), I get teary eyed and later start to cry. If someone yells or fusses at me, I do the same thing. I even do it when the people I care about are doing it with each other. So much for being a strong woman.

Some other reasons why people are stuffers are : don’t feel safe enough to confront this person, don’t have enough energy or time to get into a conflict right now, don’t know how to address the issue, don’t want to seem hypersensitive, don’t want to be rejected, don’t’ want to lose control, don’t want to make things worse. What other reasons comes to your mind?

Some may even think that it feels more godly to be a stuffer. Did you ever hear the saying, “if you don’t have anything good to say, say nothing?”

Let’s look at the Stuffers that build walls.

THE STUFFER WHO BUILDS BARRIER

We all probable have tried to keep the peace by pretending everything is fine, right? Knowing that is far from the truth. When we stuff emotions it not only hurts us, but it hurts others. It builds barriers and barriers shuts down communications.

We build barriers for several different reasons. Sometimes we are just afraid of being honest with that person. Sometimes we are tired of being honest and getting hurt.  Sometimes we feel like it is not even worth the hard work to be honest with others.

Our author says we need Boundaries and not Barriers. Boundaries that are wrapped in grace. We also need to ask ourselves , are my emotions making a “mountain out of a mole hill” or should I just spend some quite time with Jesus and ask for his wisdom in the situation. Also ask yourself “what do you really want in this situation”. Sometime how we felt and what we want are in conflict with each other. Remember feelings should be indicators not dictators.

We need to think PAST the emotions and realize what we really want in the situation.

In know there will be times that we will come across “difficult people”. You cannot control how another person acts or reacts, so don’t try and fix them. That is not our job that is God’s job!!  Our jobs is ourselves. Be obedient to God in the way you act and respond to these people. Just because you are being yelled and cussed out, don’t mean you have to do the same and as a child of God, that is not how He would react or want you to react.

THE STUFFER WHO COLLECTS RETALIATION ROCKS

As a stuffer, we need to process these emotions before they get so deep down in our soul. We need to ask ourselves, does this really matter? Is it something so trivial? Will I still remember what I am upset about a month from now? If I knew I would never see this person again, would I still let this bother me?

Remember life is relatively short. None of us are promised tomorrow.  What if these are BIGGER things? Things that we can’t seem to let go of so easily.  In these situations, the author states she asked herself this question, “ Am I trying to PROVE or IMPROVE?”. Are your wants in this conflict to prove that YOU are right or is it to improve that relationship?

If you want to improve the relationship you will deal with the issues, but if you want to prove, then you will deal with the person.

Lysa, given some questions to use when you want to improve the relationship.

1)   Will you help me understand why you feel this way?

2)   Can we both agree to stick to the issue at hand and not pull in past issues?

3)   What is a good desired outcome in this situation?

4)   How can we meet in the middle on this issue?

5)   What is something good that can come out of this issue-something that will improve our relationship moving forward?

What about unrealistic expectations? These often brings bitterness. Unrealistic expectations are things the other person isn’t able or willing to do for you. YOU need to LET THESE GO!!! Give it to GOD.

We are more that exploders who shame or who blame. We are more than stuffers who build barriers or collect retaliation rocks. We are daughter of God and we are made to walk in truth with grace.

UNGLUED CHAPTER 5

WEEK 3 CHAPTER 5

EXPLODERS

So last week we learned there are two kind of “unglued” people, with each kind having two subcategories.  This week we will be focusing on these more carefully.  I am sure, like me, you all have reflected and could see you doing them all, however, most of the time, and you are probably more of one than the others.

Raw emotions are complicated. WHY? There are many variable that get involved with them. Some variable of our own making, some of other people’s making and some that no one has control over. Quote from our author says “ Raw emotions won’t sit quietly awaiting further instructions. They will move: outward if we explode and inward if we stuff.

I love the example where Lysa mentioned a “women with a special ministry of discouragement”. Do you know of any people like this? I do. Some just have words of discouragement and others just bring it with their presences. You know what I mean! People like these can and generally will bring our your raw emotions.

Anyway lets look at Exploders.

THE EXPLODER WHO SHAMES HERSELF

Lysa gave us some ideas as to how not to explode on someone and they later regret it. Especially if someone says or does something that we feel like “giving them a piece of our mind.”

1)  Begin your response by HONORING THE ONE OFFENDED. (Hard, hard pill to swallow).  I remember one time. My brother was giving planning a birthday party for my mother on her 80^th birthday. It was a surprise. Well afterward another friend of mine was hurt that she was not invited, blamed me and call my mother to wish her a belated birthday and apologized for not being at her party. There were a couple more time in different situations that she “got her feeling hurt” because she was not invited. Kinda like the women in Lysa’s story. Boy did I want to let here have it, especially getting my mother involved.

Anyway, when we honor someone who has been offended, we need to honor them as a person, a child of God. We need to point out their good qualities (yes everyone has some).

2)   KEEP YOUR RESPONSE SHORT AND FULL OF GRACE. Like the mnemonic KISS…keep it short and simple. The more you say usually the worse off the situation will get. If something needs to be explained or clarified, keep it factual and wrapped in grace. Gentle honesty. If an apology is warranted do so and ask for grace. The example from the book “ Please accept my most sincere apology for causing you and your daughter hurt. Thank you for extending me grace in the situation”.

3)  END BY EXTENDING COMPASSION

Be the rare person who offers love to the “hard-to-love” person. Don’t fake it. Some situations can make it impossible to be wrapped in love.

If you are doing this via text or email, end with simple comment “Blessings…Thank You…With grace. 

Remember, not ever harsh word need a response. Ask God to help you know when to deal with it and when to let it go.

THE EXPLODER WHO BLAMES OTHERS

Have you ever known anyone who when someone was it talk to them about what they had done wrong, that person starts blaming others? That is what I think of when our author talks of the exploder who blames others. Have you ever done this?

What is needed to stop this is self-control. Our feeling should be INDICATIORS not DICTATORS. Feeling should NEVER dictate how we respond. WE DO HAVE A CHOICE!!

Our choice is not to let the any person the power to control our feelings. Generally the one who holds their tongue , hold the power. But when you yell, flap your arms around, jump up and down or point your finger, you are giving the power to another.

To hold your tongue, maybe hard. In that case, just take a time out. Find a place away from the situation where is it quiet and give yourself a few minutes. Like the song says “Have a little talk with Jesus, makes it right”.  The brief moment of silence with do few things.

1)  You will feel safe enough to humble yourself. We don’t need to be loud and proud.

2)  God will lift us up to a more rational place.

3)  Anxiety gives was to progress.

4)  We acknowledge that our real enemy isn’t the other person.

5)  We can rest assured God will use this conflict for good, no matter how it turns out.

UNGLUED CHAPTER 4

EXPLODER VS STUFFER

Hi, my name is Lisa and I am a STUFFER.

Oh my. I didn’t realize that was part of being unglued. So what are you? Exploder or Stuffer?  If you are an Exploder, are you one who “shames herself” or one who “blames others”? If you are a Stuffer, are you one who “builds barriers” (raising my hand) or one who “collects retaliation rocks”?

Maybe you are like our writer and a combination of them all!

Remember we are not supposed to label ourselves, instead we are to identify ourselves. I like the definition Lysa used.

          “Labeling says , ‘I am a sum total of my difficult issues.’ While “Identifying says ‘My issues are part of the equations but not the sum total.’ When we identify issues with OURSELVES it should be healthy and productive. The issues that causes us stress, hurt feelings, irritation, bitterness.. ya da da di da.

When things explode, whatever is on the inside, erupts like a volcano eruption.  Stuffing is like when you are packing stuff in a trash bag. Just keep forcing more “trash” in, over and over. Eventually that bag will “explode” as well.

You can explode in a loud voice or even in a more quite manner. Yelling and screaming is what we think of when we think of emotional “exploder” but you don’t have to raise your voice to be an exploder.

Have you said or been told “Don’t take that tone with me!” The tone, sternness, slow diction and evening speaking through closed teeth, (as then dentist say “bite together”) is a form of exploding. Hmmmm, I have done this to some friends, especially when they don’t listen or take this seriously.

I guess I could me like Lysa too and be a combination of them all. It depends on the circumstance and on the people involved. Think of a time when you were an example of each one.

UNGLUED CHAPTER 3

PRISONER

After reading Chapter 3, I was thinking this is about me! WeLL except the story about the woman going to prison. But the part about the writer’s closet was a mess. THAT IS ME….and my bedroom, and by bathrooms, and my laundry room and my kitchen… Well you get the picture. Echoes in my mind of my mother telling me as a child, “You are messy, Just look at your room”. Then as I got older when we would come over to my house it would 95% of the time be “untidy”. “Lisa, how can you make such a mess when it is only you. I didn’t raise you like this”. But then she would say “When you do straighten up, you do a great job”. She always joyed my decorating idea I would do.  Even now, going to my old home, looks like, as my mother would say “ a tornado went through it”. I would ask myself, “did you leave this house like this”? I have labeled myself as a messy housekeeper and even a hoarder!!! I know I am NOT THAT bad but that kind of thinking is in my head.

We can become a prisoner to the labels we give ourselves. Think of the labels you have given yourself. Are these labels keeping you from proving it to be wrong?  Sisters, we need to tear that “label off” right now.

Yes it may hurt some, just like tape on our skin. Be need to look beyond those label we give ourselves, or even others may give us. I have been on the receiving end of being labeled by others. Although some I knew were untrue, some I would have to look deep inside to see if there was a hint of truth. After a while, I would move on, take those baby step forward of that imperfect progress to get beyond of those feelings of hurt. Sometimes those baby steps were easy while others were/are difficult.

I reflect on them now and considering that God was working on me, chisling me. If we keep wearing those labels, we can’t move on and do what God has in stored for each one of us. Like the story Lysa was talking about the famous statue “David”.  How many people worked on that statue before it became the finished process? People stopped. It was unfinished for years. Before Michelangelo, those people just “gave up” on finishing. Maybe they labeled themselves saying “I can’t finish this”. It took a young man in his twenties with energy and vison to finish this masterpiece. (not to say us middle-aged women don’t have energy and vision). He didn’t give up. He keeping going forward, step by step, until it was done.

We can do the same thing. Don’t let labels hold us back. Don’t let labels make us give up thinking it can’t be done.  We are God’s workmanship. Chose to view the circumstances of your labels as a CALL TO ACTION, NOT a call to beat yourself up.

REMEMBER

“ Just because you closet is a mess, doesn’t make you a messy person. YOU are a child of God with a messy closet”

UNGLUED CHAPTER 1

How often do you made decision based on your emotions?  When you feel pressured by the world and the anxiety builds up, or the deadline is approaching, or in the heat of anger, passion or hurt, you say or do something that you regret?

We all do and more often than we want to admit. Afterwards we feel “crappy”. And being a Christian we may become weighed down with feelings of guilt. We feel bad because we didn’t act like a Christian should act. But a Christian is not perfect. NO ONE IS PERFECT! NO ONE.

We need to remember that we are and will always be IMPERFECT Christians until God calls us home. We need to accept it, but still strive to do better. That is what our study is about. It will NOT make us perfect, but we will make imperfect changes. “Imperfect changes are SLOW STEPS of PROGRESS wrapped in GRACE”.  Imperfect Progress.

Our assignment this week is to read Chapters 1 & 2 and complete session 1 in the participant’s guide.

If you only got the participant guide, don’t fret, I will highlight the areas from the readings for you (they are also in the participant guide as well. I will be posting twice each week the highlights of the reading chapters, just in case someone didn’t get the book.  They will be on Wednesday and Saturday.

Remember to Pray for the study each Wednesday. Pray for yourself, that God would speak to you personally and more Important that you will listen and be open to His will in your life. Also pray that you will stay committed throughout the study with readings and assignment so that you can get the most out of this time as possible. Pray for other participants in the study, that each of them would gain more hope and draw closer to God through the study. Pray for each other’s homes, jobs, and families.

So let’s get started….Chapter 1

AN INVITATION TO IMPERFECT PROGRESS-Chapter 1

Sometime are emotions takeover is situations. And sometimes when that happens, we tend to mentally “beat ourselves up”. I have a tendency to do this on a regular basis, however, it usually it not witnessed by anyone other than me and the Lord. But the other week “IT” happened at work.  I had no excuse, but I am going to give you some any way. It had been a hard week for me. Tried to do things at Mother’s house, cleaning, packing up stuff to give away, stuff to save for my step-brother that was his dad’s. It seemed like an impossible week. I could FOCUS. I joked with some close friends and told them I felt like I had ADD, or ADHA or some other “attention deficit” abbreviations. I could stick with one task for 15 minutes before I thought of something else, I needed to do and I went to do that, thus the cycle began. By Friday when I went to work, I felt Like I had been on a stationary bicycle for days and had had not gotten anywhere.  I had already mental stated to beat myself up about it, then all those other feelings of loneliness, grief and sorrow poured over me like a damn had busted.

Any way, it really was a big thing that sent me over the edge that morning. It was just a simple statement and I blew it way out of proportion.. You have heard the saying “making a mountain out of a mole hill” well it was more like a “mountain out of a pimple”. If it happened at a different time, my emotions, negative emotions at that. Would not even had stirred.

I usually internalize my emotions, but they were leaking out. A little “squirt” here with a snide comment, a little “squirt” there with another. But I was trying my best not “explode into tears”. But the more I held it in, the more the pressure build and I did what many people do, I took it to social media!!! URGH…

Well I felt better once I posted it. I should have known it would, ‘cause in the past, I would WRITE all that stuff down on paper. Just let it out!! Then tear up the paper and threw it away. I was over it after I posted it.  Until one of my co-workers asked me about the post.

That night, I was “convicted” for my behavior. In fact, I was disappointed in myself for my actions and reaction. I had a long talk with the Lord that evening. For about a week or so, the relationship between me and this person, felt “strange”. To me it seemed like that were keeping their distance, even when we had to work or be at the same activity together.

Emotions that are not controlled, CAN hurt and even destroy relationships. And it always seems to happen with the people we care about the most.

When we do this, for no cause, we blame it on various things; hormones aka “that time of the month”, feeling tired, didn’t get any sleep, stressed out about another situation, just had an agreement with someone else, feeling of insecurity and unappreciated.  But these are just excuses and not the source of the problem.

I liked Lysa’s thought of Imperfect Progress.  She talks about “feeling unglued” is all she had ever known.  Are you like Lysa? Do you know anyone like her?  It doesn’t even have to be emotions that you are trying to overcome, whatever it is, we need to remember it is not a instant progress. What it is, is IMPERFECT PROGRESS.

Imperfect progress is imperfect changes of slow steps toward our goal. The best part is that it is wrapped in GRACE.  We just need to make progress. It’s ok to have “setbacks” and the need for do-overs. In fact for me, that is a guarantee in whatever I am trying to overcome. The thing is make sure you are moving FORWARD, even if they are baby steps. Baby steps keep you from getting stuck or idle. The change WILL COME if we remember and keep going forward.

UNGLUED CHAPTER 2

   I'M NOT A FREAKED-OUT WOMAN

Are you a women that freaks-out when things go wrong? Even the simple non-essential stuff that gets in our way? Slow traffic, someone pulling out in front of us, the cable/satellite goes out, the phone not working? Have you ever tried to fix something only to make it worse? Do you hit on an appliance or equipment when it doesn’t work the way you want to?

This reminds me of a co-worker hitting on a medication bin in our Pyxis when it didn’t open like it was supposed to do. I can remember when I was still at my house about twice a year the trash truck would knock down my telephone line.  It would take about 5 days or more before they would come and fix it. I didn’t care cause I has my cell phone but it would get bother my mother (even though she called me on my cell). She would even tell me to tell them that I was on emergency call at the hospital and needed that phone. I did that once, but it didn’t work.

Sometime we get so wrapped up in the emotions of the situations, that we do or say unwisely things. We think that there is no good could come out of a bad situations, especially if it happens to us personally, but I can. For example, the author talks about her computer got a virus and she couldn’t even get to her files. She had to get another new computer (ugh). Then after a month that computer and gotten stolen, but if it wasn’t for the first one getting the virus, she would not have made backups of her files. She realized that the virus on her first one was a blessing. What “once seemed like a curse became a precious gift”.

We need to change our thought patterns sometimes. Sometime unfortunately thoughts associated with emotions are easy to remember. To develop new response we need to develop new thoughts. This is crucial if we don’t want to become “unglued”. The Bible encourages us to renew our minds. Romans 12:2

The Scriptures also teaches us that we can accept or refuse thoughts. 2 Corinthians 10:5

We need to remind ourselves that we have a choice. We can chose to have destructive thoughts or constructive thoughts. We can wallow in what is going on that is wrong  and make things worse or we can ask God for His perspective to help us see good even when we can’t see or feel it.

I just watched this video on Jerry Clower. Some of you may know him. But he talked about the time when he got a call about his son being in a wreck and "he wouldn't wake up". He talked about how Christians are supposed to give praise to EVERYTHING. The good and the bad. And he was going to do just that. And to make a long story short, he did just that.

When things get out of control we don’t need to do the same thing. It only makes matter worse. More stress and anxiety to the situation.

Do you trust God? Do you believe He is working out everything for your good, even when you can’t see the good? If so, you need to stop “freaking out” trying to fix everything on your own. God is the one who is in control, therefore you can face things that are out of control without you being out of control yourself.

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY ADVENT WEEK #4

THE SHEPHERDS

SCRIPTURES LUKE 2:8-20

Abraham was a shepherd, often moving about to find pasture and water and to avoid hostile tribesmen. Jacob slipped away in the night to a shepherd kinsmen after cheating his brother Esau. Jacob shepherd sheep for 14 years. The prophet Amos, humbly claimed that he was just a poor uneducated shepherd. King David, the most famous shepherd of all, worked as a boy with fathers flock. 

Ancient Israel was not a land of cattle ranches or pig farms. For pork was forbidden. Yes that would include Bacon. Jewish Law.

The practice of agriculture was scattered- some grain was grown in Galilee, along with some vineyards and fruit trees. But especially in the southern region of Judah, sheep and goats dotted the landscape. 

The rocky hills from Jerusalem to Hebron and Bethlehem housed constantly migrating sheep and goat. The soil was so shallow, the rocky hills abundant, the rain so occasional, the grass was so sparse, and that the sheep and the goats moved continually.

So in ancient Palestine, shepherding was prominent essential. Sheep were the mainstay of the inhabitants livelihood. Sheep provided wool, meat, clothing and material for tents.  Lambs were regularly laid on the altar in Jerusalem’s Temple as a sacrifice.

In springtime, during the day, shepherd and families who owned the sheep had much to do. They worked hard, assisting in the birthing of new lambs, caring for those little ones. Amid strong winds and spring rains, they sheared the sheep, harvested the winter wool and readied the ewes and bucks for simmer weather.  The butchered young males and castrated other for later meat supply.

The firstborn lamb was taken to the Temple as a sacrificial thank offering. As David, these shepherds had to be alert for wild animals, foxes, beats and even lions.

Summertime it was more laid back. However wintertime is different. The sheep would be fed little hay..maybe some grain. They move the about . At night the pastures were cold. There was little to do. Build a fire, sing to help quiet the sheep and keep animals away. The hired hands were called shepherd, their main jobs was to bed down the sheep. Sometimes in a cave, often around a fire, then go to sleep leaving one fellow to stay awake and watch. The owners were in their homes.

So these nighttime winter shepherd were the poorest of the poor. They owned nothing, couldn’t get a decent-paying daytime job and often had neither home nor family. In this day and time, these shepherds were considered the bottom of the social ladder.

Sometimes, these people could have very well had a bad reputation. The shepherd were not allowed to given testimony in the courts in those days; they were usually considered unreliable…So why would an angel come first to the shepherds.

These humble night workers got to baby Jesus before the Wiseman did. It has been said that uneducated, simple people come more easily to faith than wise people and scholars who have to work through a lot of thought problems before they come to the Lord. Do you think that is true?

God chose to have the angels sing to these humble folks, these shepherds, the weakest of the weak, the loneliest of the lonely, the poorest of the poor.,

The angel first words was “Do NOT BE AFAIRD: because they were terrified. IT wasn’t a lion or bear but host of angels singing.

Martin Luther said the greatest miracle of Christmas was that when the angel told Mary she was to bear a child, the Savior “MARY BELIEVED”. The shepherds believed They said, lets go NOW to Bethlehem and see this thing…and they went in haste. 

While some people hear an angel speaking and keep on tending the sheep. Some of us hear heaven singing and we throw another stick on the fire.

READ LUKE 2:20. No verse in Scripture is more exciting, more fulfilling that “The shepherds returned glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen.

Our God has a special heart for the humble. Those who are poor are not blocked by prestige or wealth but are often open to the eternal. Stripped of everything earthly.

Historically great Christians revivals movements have started amount the poor; Saint Francis going to Italy, John Wesley’s preaching to the peasants and prisoners in England; William Booth’s offering to Christ and started the Salvation Army.

A miracle of Christmas is that the angels sand first to the shepherd. That they hurried to the manger, and that they believed and returned to the fields glorifying God.

Even in today’s society, the poor is separated. All societies. Upper class, Middle class, the poor and indigent. I could be a migrant worker at a chicken plant, a young person at fast food restaurant behind the counter, the person that sleeps under the bridge, these are hard for US to reach for Jesus. We are often aloof and distant with them, they are sometimes suspicious and defensive. But JESUS went to the poor and the outcast.

READ Luke 14:13-14 When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrections of the righteous.

So let’s remember the shepherds at Christmas. They represent the poor, the lonely and the outcast. The angels came to them first. The poorest of the poor. Maybe never forget the poor, in our town or country or the world.

THE GOOD, BAD, AND THE UGLY ADVENT WEEK #3

JOSEPH

SCRIPTURE MATTHEW 1:18-25, 2:13-15, 19-23

What do we know about Joseph? Other than being Mary’s husband and the earthly father of Jesus? Other than being a carpenter? Let’s see what we can learn.

I all of Scripture not a single word was recorded from Joseph’s mouth. He was a quiet man. You might say he was the strong and silent type. Generally those men that work hard, say very little. My dad was one of those men.

These type of men are seldom, head of committees, but they serve faithfully. People respect them and their judgement, even if it only as smile or a nod of the head. They are men of integrity. Their word is their bond. A handshake is better than a signed contract.

Just because Joseph words were never recorded in the Bible doesn’t make him less important in the Christmas story. His role in the birth and upbringing of Jesus was indispensable.

We know that Joseph obedient to the Lord. He listens the he acts. God speaks to him in dreams and he responds. When he planned to not go with the marriage of Mary because she was pregnant, an angel came in a dream and told him to take Mary as his wife, and he did.

Just as he did after Jesus was born. An angel came to him in a dream and told Joseph to get up and leave with Mary and the child. This was when Herod was planning to killed the male children.  After Herod died, an angel came again in his dreams and told him to take his family to Israel. And he did.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all could be as obedient and quick about it?

Mary and Joseph both were obedient to God. The observed the Mosaic rituals and civil laws. The journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem was about a 90 mile journey.  It would take 8-10 days. They circumcised Jesus on the eight day as part of the law of Moses. (Leviticus 12:3)

Then Joseph took Jesus and Mary to Jerusalem for “purification” after waiting thirty-three days for Mary to finish bleeding (Leviticus 12:1-8) Luke 2:21-24. Joseph dedicated two turtledoves (does that sound familiar) because he was poor. The upper and middle class were required to dedicate a lamb while the poor were required to dedicate two turtledoves.

Then Joseph, with Mary, parented Jesus so that he grew and became strong, filled with wisdom. Every year they would take Jesus back to Jerusalem as required for the Passover. When Jesus was twelve, he held the rabbis and priest captive with His understanding and His answers. (Luke 2:46-47)  

After this we never hear of Joseph again in the Scriptures. There was no mention of him at the wedding feast in Cana.  He was not there with Mary and the other children when they begged Jesus to avoid controversy in his ministry and to come home.

We have always heard and think of Joseph as a carpenter. Interesting that the Greek word the Bible uses is ‘tekton” which means “artisan” or “builder” or “stone mason” . The King James Translation in 1611 used the word carpenter to describe Joseph and so it has been ever since.  Trees in Israel are of short supply. When Solomon imported the “cedars of Lebanon” to build the Temple in Jerusalem.  The Houses in Galilee were built of limestone.  But furniture, and yokes for oxen had to be built somehow.

Carpenter knew how to use a hammer, chisel and a plumb line and a level. Everything has to be straight. Close your eyes and picture Jesus working side by side with Joseph.  Listen to what Joseph is saying “ Son, it has to be perfectly straight and that’s the way God wants us to be with one another” or talking about how someone who is building their house on sand saying “ when the storms come, that house is going to fall. It needs to be level and build on a solid foundation, just like the way our lives should be built on God” Jesus even taught that in Luke 6:46-49

We don’t know how long Joseph lived but you have to wonder what role he played in helping Jesus understand God as God of all humanity. Jesus must have learned much from his strong, quiet hardworking father. At time we see when Jesus shows this quietness Himself.

REFLECTION

Think of what kind of man you think Joseph was? What traits do you see? Imagine a scene between him and Jesus and Joseph explaining the things of life to him.  Plan to share for discussion next week.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. ADVENT WEEK 2

THE WISEMEN

SCRIPTURE READING MATTHEW 2:1-12

In the Bible there are three books that are referred to as “wisdom literature”; Proverbs, Job and Ecclesiastes.

So who were these wise men? Where did they come from? In ancient times, the areas around the Mediterranean were circle of secular wisdom. In Egypt, look at the pyramids. It took some brilliant engineers to design and accomplish building those.  There were great philosophers in Greece; Plato, Aristotle and Socrates. Then there was the study of the movement of planets and starts that originated in Mesopotamia, Babylon and Persia.

As people traveled they would read each other’s scrolls.  And thus a new religious philosophy formed in Greece and Persia called Gnosticism. Instead of worshiping many gods, these spiritual intellects believed in just two; the god of spiritual matters and the god of physical matters. The Wiseman in the Christmas story could have very well been Gnostics, (until they witnessed the birth of the Messiah)

All we know from the Bible is that these wise men were NOT Jews. They were foreigners. Perhaps from Persians. Some scholars think they may have been from India, where they studied stars.  Wherever they came from, they paid special attention to the movement of stars.

THE GIFTS

So how many wise men were there?  We really don’t know, but because of the three specific gifts, people assume it was just three. By the fourth centry they were given names. Gaspar who was said to have brought the gold, Balthazar gave the frankincense and Melchior the myrrh.

The gift symbolism is powerful even overwhelming. Gold for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Frankincense is use for prayer in the temple. Jesus prayed all night in the garden and taught us to pray “ Our Father who are in heaven…”  No Myrrh, was an embalming spice, to suggest Jesus’ death on the cross. Remember on Easter morning, Mary Magdalene hurried to the tomb with spices to anoint Jesus’ body.

These gifts were no ordinary gifts. In biblical times, frankincense came from the sap of the Boswellia sacra tree grown in southern Arabia. These precious aromatics were brought to the seaport at Gaza and shipped to Europe and Egypt. Frankincense was used everywhere in worshiping of different religions. Arabia produced the finest quality of frankincense and myrrh in the known world.

What about the gold? Joseph was a carpenter and they traveled a lot those early years. They needed some monies of sorts to support them during this time. Maybe this gold was what they used. What else could it had been for? Something to ponder.

Over the centuries the images of “The Magi” changed. Painting had them representing the Gentile world. They had Gaspar being an old man, Balthazar a middle aged man and Melchoir as a younger man. Then they had their images change to represent the continents of Europe, Asia and Africa (Portraying Balthazar as having dark skin).

The spiritual symbolism was that these wise men represented the non-Jews. Supposedly their remains are in a golden shrine in the Cologne Cathedral in Germany.

You all  know the Twelve Days of Christmas song. Do you know how it came about? Many Christian churches celebrate Epiphany or Feast of Epiphany, which occurs twelve days after Christmas. Epiphany literally means “showing forth” and it signifies that Light has come into the world.  Those that visited Jesus after his birth, more than likely occurred during this time.

We shouldn’t underestimate the Gentile symbolism. Jesus in his ministry reached out to Gentiles. There are several small stories where Jesus interacted with Gentiles. The demon-possessed in Luke 8:26-33, the poor widow in Luke 7:11-17, even the Roman soldier at the foot of the cross Matthew 27:54. And the most familiar parable of the good Samaritan Luke 10:29-37, honors a man whose people were viewed as being Gentile and despised.

The Wisemen have being men of wealth and prominence and came from afar, where more than likely had a herd of servants and animals with them.  As powerful intelligent scholar-kings, they were humble. Humbly they followed the star, found their way to the Christ Child; humbly they knelt before the child with a young peasant mother and a carpenter father. Humbly and prayerfully they gave the precious gifts they had carried for hundreds of miles.

We need to keep the Wisemen in Christmas because they represent the people of the entire world. Red, yellow, black and white like the song goes. They teach us that NO ONE is too far away that they cannot “travel to Bethlehem”. No matter how poor or how rich, we all need a Savior.

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY. ADVENT WEEK 1

As we begin the Christmas season, we seem to get overwhelm with all the worldly the things that are done at Christmas, and we put the true meaning on the back burner. As Christians, our faith requires that we focus on the birth of our Lord and Savior, during this time. Instead of Christmas trees and decorating, holiday shopping and cooking, and singing songs that are happy and fun it is easy to not have our focus on the baby in the manger.

Even if we focus on the birth of Jesus, there are people and events that encircle His holy birth that have a powerful spiritual message of their own. We will be looking at these people in a way that you may never had known or thought.

Let’s begin!!

KING HEROD. THE MAN WHO TRIED TO KILL CHRISTMAS

SCRIPTURE: Read Matthew 2:1, Matthew 7-8, Matthew 16-18

He is known as, Herod “The Great”. He was a bad man, cruel, and evil. Let me give you a little background.

He was born in the desert of Sinai, a descendant of Abraham, through Esau.  He and his people were known as Edomite Jews, because they were forced to convert to Judaism by the Maccabees who let a revolt that freed Judea from Syrian rule.

The world was in turmoil. In Rome, Brutus and Cassius had murdered Julius Caesar. Then in the struggle for power, Cassius was defeated by Mark Antony, who was killed by Octavian- who later became known as Caesar Augustus, the first ruler of the newly named Roman Empire.

Herod’s father, Antipater allied himself with the Roman leadership and was named ruler of Judea. Herod was a young soldier, charismatic, adept with a javelin and bow. He was sent to Rome to build friends among key Roman leaders. Later he was sent to become the governor of Galilee. He proved his alliance with Roman by brutally crushing a local Jewish rebellion. Herod became and expert and “playing both ends against the middle”.

After Herod’s father was poisoned, Rome named him the ruler of Judea. Herod had several wives to solidify political ties, but his favorite was Mariamne. He loved her insanely and was passionately jealous.  However he had her brother killed, after appointing him as high priest, which Mariamne asked him to do. Herold had him drowned within a year after the appointment. Mariamne then accused Herod of hilling both her brother and grandfather. Herod’s sister, Salome, told him that Mariamne was having an affair with one of his uncles, so he had her executed.

Herod was brutal. He wanted absolute control. He would pacify most of the Jewish people under his rule by allowing them to worship their God in the Temple, instead of worshipping Caesar. However in return, he pacified Rome by demanding a huge temple tax, then sending that vast wealth to Rome. He kept the international trade routes open.

Herod was also a great builder. He built a second Temple with a solid gold altar, imported marble walls and a beautiful “heavenly” blue ceiling.  The Temple was so magnificent that millions of Jews scattered all over the Mediterranean, returned to worship and admire. This is the temple that Jesus visited. It was destroyed along with Jerusalem by the Romans in A.D. 70. He also built a gold Roman eagle for Rome, and placed it at the temple entrance. Some of the Jews because angry and tor the eagle down because it was a sacrilege. Herod had these men captured, placed in chains, dragged thirteen miles from Jerusalem to Jericho, and burned alive. ( Is this where Clint Eastwood comes in?)

Herod was so full of himself, he even built a mountain. Yep, over two thousand feet high, near Jerusalem. Then he put a palace on top of it.  He also built the great Western Wall as part of the temple complex, the ruins of which today is known as the Wailing Wall. It was the size or 150 football fields and took 10 years to build.  Herod also built a huge seaport called it Caesarea. Many amphitheaters for Greek and Roman games and theaters.

Suspicion, fear, brutality and jealousy ruled Herod’s life.  At the age of seventy, and after ruling for nearly 40 years, he met the Wiseman.

We all that story. We will read more about that story another week.  At the time Jesus was born, Herod the Great was a mad plagued with illness and incessant family issues involving his ten wives and fifteen children.  According to Josephus, Herod’s illness grew steadily worse, complicated by high fever, intolerable itching and inflammation of the abdomen. However his temperament and ruthlessness intensified. Obsessed and paranoid, he had another son executed, Antipater, son of his wife Doris.

When he realized his own death was near, Herod ordered the arrest of all the leading citizens of all the villages. They then were to be slaughtered at the moment of the king’s death- thus tears would be shed and the nation would be plunged into mourning, even if not for him.  However his sister Salome countermanded the order and all were later released.

Historians say that Herod was a godless man, reckless, willing to slay young or old, relative, friend, or enemy and show no mercy.. Over the centuries Herod has become a symbol of evil.  We may rather want to forget that he is part of the Christmas story. But we need to keep Herod in Christmas to remind us how desperately we need a Savior in this evil world.

Ponder for a moment your knowledge of evil. Let you memory focus on history. 911 for example.  Thinks about evil in the world and consider the following questions.

REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

1)    Where do you think evil comes from? How does it invade the human heart? What stimulates evil, increasing its power?

2)    Where, in your own life, have you experienced evil hurting you, damaging your health, your family, and your resources?

3)    In your inner life, where do Jesus the Savior and Herod the evil one do battle? Where are the secret seeds of sin in your heart that sometimes bursts forth like weeks in spring?

4)    How do you allow Jesus the Savior to help you defeat sin in your life? How do you make amends or obtain forgiveness? How does Jesus change a person’s heart from evil to good?

NEXT WEEK “LET'S KEEP THE WISE MEN IN CHRISTMAS”

A Women Who Doesn't Quit - Wrap-up

Well ladies, this is the end of our study on “A WOMAN WHO DOESN’T QUIT 5 HABITS FROM THE BOOK OF RUTH”. I hope each of you have gain something through this study. I know I have. It was the perfect study for me at this time and I thanks God for that.

Here is are the 5 Habits to overcome quitting again.

1.  SHES ACCEPTS THE ASSIGNMENT OF REFINEMENT

2.  SHE FOLLOWS THOUGHT DESPITE HOW SHE FEELS

3.  SHE STAYS OPEN TO THE MOVEMENT OF GOD

4.  SHE GIVES OTHERS WHAT SHE NEEDS

5.  SHE MOVES FORWARD IN FAITH

We all will face decision whether or not to give up on someone or something, but something special happens when we decide to persevere in face of problems and pain. Perseverance is one of the greatest skills but the hardest lesson to learn in our lifetime. Why? Because of what we have to go through. You can’t learn perseverance if you don’t have trials and tribulations.

In this world today, we are encouraged to live life based on how we feel, but honestly, most days we don’t feel like doing anything challenging. But when the opportunity comes, embrace it. It’s an assignment of refinement. Save your Quit Quitting Verses and used them. Here are some more:

For the time you want to quit because you think much has already been lost: Joel 2:25

For the time you want to quit because it looks hopeless. Titus 3:7

For the time you want to quit because you don’t feel smart enough to make the right decision. James 1:5

For the time you want to quit because you think you’ve fallen too far. Proverbs 24:16

For the time you want to quit because something else looks better John 15:16

For the time you want to quit because your efforts and formulas are not turning out as hoped: Isaiah 55:8

For the time you Aare about to quit because you are going for what you want rather than what you need Philippians 4:19

For the time you want to quit because you aren’t sure this is worth it Galatians 6:9

Ask yourself these 5 questions.

1.     Have I accepted my assignment of refinement?

2.  Am I able to follow through despite how I feel?

3.  But have I stayed open to God’s movement?

4.  I don’t have what I need, but am I giving others what I need?

5.  Truthfully, have I moved forward in faith?

REMEMBER NOT QUITTING IS A HABIT